Light-hearted Memes
"A cheerful heart is excellent medicine"
PROVERBS 17:22a
PROVERBS 17:22a
After the Baptism of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys."
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys."
Q. Why can't muggers catch Catholics during Lent?
A. They fast!
A. They fast!
When the sneezing, coughing mom at Mass with the screaming baby offers you the sign of peace!
Great One-Liners!
- What did the bison say to his son when he left the ranch? Bi-son.
- My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
- I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There was just something fishy about that place.
- Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? Because they're extinct!
- I went to a silent auction. I won a dog whistle and two mimes.
- Which vegetable has the best in chinese dishes? Broc-lee.
- Why did the old man fall down the well? He couldn’t see that well.
- Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance... So I pushed her over.
- What word can you make shorter by adding two letters? Short.
- Why do people who live in Greece hate waking up at dawn? Because Dawn is tough on Greece.
- A man walked into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender said, "Does the animal talk?" And the parrot replied, "I don't know."
- I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing.
- "My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!"
- "I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
- "When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?"
- Waiter: "Do you wanna box for your leftovers?" "No, I hate violence."
- "I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands."
- "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was out standing in his field."
- "I've got a great joke about construction, but I'm still working on it."
- What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
- I've been bored recently, so I decided to take up fencing. The neighbors keep demanding that I put them back.
"A cheerful heart is excellent medicine"
PROVERBS 17:22a
PROVERBS 17:22a